What IS Fear, anyway?

What is fear? Dictionary.com defines it this way: “a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.” I think fear is our anticipation of a negative outcome and what we do psychologically and physiologically to insure that very thing! This is quite common when we need to get a price reduction, ask the buyer for more financial information, or even when we need to talk to our broker. We expect the worst – and very often get it because we’ve prepared for it.

For example, you plan to have a discussion with a seller about a price reduction. You imagine the seller getting angry and aggressive in response. Before you ever make the call you experience sweaty palms and heart palpitations (physiological). Once you do have the conversation, the seller responds negatively – just as you anticipated (psychological). See what I mean? We are conditioned to imagine the worst. No wonder it shows up over and over again.

In the movie The Secret, we learned how important it is to focus on what we want - on the expected positive outcome. Imagine yourself exchanging information with your seller in a caring, positive and professional way. Imagine the seller asking questions and responding positively to your suggestions as you move forward together toward a successful sale. You’re more likely to get that outcome if you anticipate it, aren’t you?

Anytime you think about a potential interaction with someone, notice if your palms get sweaty, hands get shaky, your heart starts to race and you hold your breath. Also notice if you’re making assumptions about how that person will behave or respond. Stop, take a deep breath and imagine a positive win-win outcome, then proceed. You will be amazed at how much more effective you’ll be with buyers, sellers, fellow agents and yes, even your broker!